FAQ

How does this work again?

NFS’s main goal is to be as self-directed as possible in a society where survivors are denied control over their lives. We want to take back our self-determination from those who coerced or forced us, and from a culture which promotes sexual violence.

We are not hapless victims whose stories can be used by the same legislative officials who purchase sexual services. We didn’t feel empowered by being sexually used for money. We are not evil or fallen or immoral. We are humans, though we are usually denied the ability to express our humanity in a public forum. NFS wants the voices of its members to be heard.

In practice, this means that we begin each meeting by getting in a circle, voting (if we disagree) on whether or not we’re going to time each other so that we can get to everybody, and checking up on each person in the group one by one, asking them how they are and what they want to do with the group today. Everybody is free to pass. Everybody is free to share. Everybody is free to step out for a few minutes if they feel that they aren’t ready to hear someone else’s story. Everyone can respond, and a facilitator is on hand to make sure that everybody gets a turn to do so once they have raised their hand.

What we hope happens is that everybody can discover, with the help of other group members, what they need to do in order to heal. Want therapy? We’ll help you find it. Feeling lonely? We’d love to talk to you. We’d also love to help you find events in your area (maybe other events at the Women’s Center) where you might feel comfortable meeting people. Want to help educate people about what happened to you? We do too; let’s do that together.

What are the rules?

Some actions are a good idea and some are bad. Try to pass judgement on actions sensitively. Try not to judge other NFS members.

Only those who have engaged in sexual acts for money are allowed.

All information which is shared at NFS meetings is strictly confidential.

Breaking these rules, or repeatedly disrespecting the space and voice of other members may result in a permanent or temporary ban from NFS. This is up to the group to decide.

What steps are taken to protect members of NFS emotionally?

Information shared in NFS is private. Members are asked not to share this information outside of NFS.

The only people present will be others who have been in the rape industry.

Members are asked to treat each other with understanding and respect at all times.

Members are encouraged to let the group know if they feel triggered or disrespected by someone else’s words so that this person can stop. If members want to take a break, we can take a break.

We will not leave while a person in NFS is feeling raw or exposed emotionally- we will take a few minutes to evaluate what we have accomplished and calm ourselves if we need to before leaving.

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